This Year's New Christmas Songs

Everyone loves Christmas, and you can really tell the season is upon us when those old favorite Christmas songs are unpacked to fill shopping malls, radio airwaves, and TV commercials. Over the last few years, it seems like every artist is trying their hand at writing some new Christmas songs and we've seen holiday songs and albums from the likes of Bob Dylan, Sting, Rob Halford, and Twisted Sister to name just a few. This year is no exception, with a new batch of artist releasing what they hope to be holiday classics.

The Killers- Boots

The Killers have released a Christmas song every year since 2006, so it makes sense to start with them. This being the bands fifth holiday release, I had higher expectations from them. That being said the song is still pretty good, and I like it a little more every time I listen to it. Perhaps I've set the bar a little high for them after hearing songs like "Big Red Sleigh" and "Joseph, Better You Than Me." It's light, it's somber, it's a song about having Christmas when perhaps your a little regretful about the choices you've made that year. Good work boys.

Coldplay- Christmas Lights

Coldplay have said in past years that they desired to write a Christmas song but found themselves unable and instead stuck to covering old classics. This year they've achieved their holiday goal with "Christmas Lights," another somber holiday track. This one's about somone who recently lost their love. At first they are unresponsive to the holiday season, but latter they find strenght in it. A bit superior to the Killers' effort, once this song gets going there seems to be some magic in it.

Black Label Society- First Noel

When you hear that Black Label Society is releasing a Christmas song, you brace yourself for some roaring metal take on an old holiday classic; few of these are actually that good. Surprisingly though, Zakk Wylde takes a acoustic approach to "First Noel", and an instrumental version at that. The song is wonderful, true to the original composition, and showing off on Zakk's guitar play without getting too ridiculous. The Duluth chapter of BLS approves.

Paul Simon- Getting Ready for Christmas

I don't like this song. Paul seems to want to write a new holiday number from the perspective of a modern American; capturing the hardships and thoughts running through their mine during the holiday season. Unfortunately any merit found with Paul's lyrics is completely lost in production. Those waving synthesizer sounds layered on top keep me from ever really connecting to this song, and the fucking audio voices are a horrid annoyance. At first I was convinced that this was a tampered with version from YouTube, but no PaulSimon.com has confirmed that is in fact the real version. A real shame, because stripped down this would be a pretty good Christmas song.

Corey Taylor- X-M@$

A purposeful tongue in cheek holiday teardown form Slipknot and Stone Sour's lead singer, this song definitely has some funny moments. I wouldn't really say I like the song, but whatever it's somewhat funny and the proceeds from buying the track go to charity; so there's no need for me to rip on it.

Jessica Simpson- My Only Wish For Christmas (Is You)

Wow, I expected this song to fucking suck but I didn't think it would be a complete rip off of Mariah Carey's
holiday anthem "All I want for Christmas is You". Whoever wrote this song.....one minute actually...Aaron Pearce, Jessica Simpson, and Christopher Stewart (thanks Wiki) fuck all of you, stealing pieces of shit.

Mariah Carey- Oh Santa

Hey Mariah, we were just talking about you and I see you have a new holiday single as well. Ya I'm not really down with this either. It's not a pile of flamming shit like Simpson's song, but it's certainly no soon to be classic either. It's poppy with a lil R &B swing to it, but it's also super perdicable and old hat. It's like you wrote the line, "Santa's gonna make you mine this Christmas", and than proceded to list off as many holiday cliche's as possible for the verses. Also, those high pitch moans at the end are completely unneeded; we get it Mariah you can hit high notes.

Rihanna- A Child is Born

Ugh, this song has a weird feel to it. Who did the instrumentals, sounds like something they hammered out using some discount keyboard on display at Best Buy. Uninspiring lyrics, recounting the birth of baby Jesus, add no magic or warm sediment to the song . I would have thought someone like Rihanna would of had a bigger, bolder Christmas song. Instead we get this mediocre bullshit. The pop queens have really failed us this Christmas.

Overall, no real new holiday classics here. Suppose Rob Halford's Christmas album from last year will have to hold me over.