12/24/10

Lemmy-Mass

Happy 65th Birthday Lemmy

Tron Legacy

Set Phasers to Spolier Alert

I don't expect a futurist movie to explain everything to me, and in a lot of cases I perfer not to know stuff because explantations have a way of unraveling Sci-fi movies if you're not careful (I'm looking at you George Lucas). Tron gets into trouble explaining how things ended up the way they are instead of just rolling with it.

Ten Things that kept me from loving Tron Legacy

12/21/10

12/20/10

Billboard Blitz!


Did T.I beat Susan Boyle for #1?


Music Wishes for the New Year

#6
Forget They Ever Existed.........

12/16/10

12/15/10

Music Wishes for the New Year

#7 Reunions We Need

Come on Robert, one last run with the boys.


















12/13/10

Music Wishes for the New Year

#8

Black Eyed Peas either become Human, Disband, or Die


The Future is finally here, and it sucks.

Hall of Shame Inductees Leaked

The Rock and Roll Hall of Shame will announce their 2011 inductees on Wednesday, luckily the Internet doesn't wait around for their jive ass horse shit to get a special release. The list of inductees in right here friend, wait no longer:

The Chosen Few:

Alice Cooper, Neil Diamond, Dr. John, Darlene Love, Tom Waits
Hall of Shame Class of 2011

12/9/10

KISSmas Days 1-3

Hello everyone, hope you're having a joyous and productive KISSmas season. It's day three of KISSmas and I thought I'd post a mini-review for each of the KISS albums I've make it through thus far.

Bullshit Coming

12/8/10

Oh Yea......Bush reunited


The two guys in the middle are still in the band.

Darrell "Dimebag" Abbott & John Lennon
RIP
December 8
2004 & 1980
Amazing musicians each killed by a crazy bastard that claimed to be a fan. No real fan would commit these crimes, and no fan would ever print or mutter the murderers' names. May history forget them and remember the great men they stole from us.

12/7/10

A Look at KISS's Discography

Seeing how it is the first night of KISSmas, lets take a look at the bands legendary studio releases and mercilessly critque all the album covers; sounds like fun eh.

Some Music News


- Metal pioneers and legends, Judas Priest, have annouced today that 2011 will see the band launching their last world tour. Wanting to give their fans one last time to see the ultimate metal expierence that is Judas Priest live, the band will hit all the world's major cities on this tour. The Epitah World Tour's first dates are available here. Very sad news, not sure if this means that Judas Priest are done recording together, or if this is just thier last major tour. We'll have to wait and see. If they don't come to the Twin Cities than I'll know Minnesota does not have a major world city.

Have a Merry Merry KISSMAS!!


Here at Muse-Zach, we're going to rocking all the way to Christmas Day with a little help from KISS. From their 1974 debut all the way to 2009's Sonic Boom, we're going to listen to each and every KISS studio album one day at a time until December 25. We'll also be posting mini reviews of the albums as we go. So join the festivities, crank some KISS, and have a Happy Holiday Season.

12/6/10

New Motorhead Video

This is the new video for Motorhead's single "Get Back In Line" from their forthcoming album The World is Yours.


The same old badass Motorhead sound here. Lemmy and the boys are not to happy with bankers and rich motherfuckers taking the working man's money for luxurious parties while the economy is in the shitter. So, they go down and beat the fuck out of them; put them back in line. Favorite line from this song, "If you think Jesus saves, get back in line." Awesome song from a must buy album.

Bonus:

This is the new video from English metalers Bring Me The Horizon. The song's called "Anthem", and I included it has a bonus because it has the fucking awesome line "This is an anthem, so fucking sing." Plain, simple, and fucking awesome.

12/3/10

Billboard Blitz

We're back and it's time for the Billboard Blitz, running down the top 10 albums in America.

12/1/10

This Year's New Christmas Songs

Everyone loves Christmas, and you can really tell the season is upon us when those old favorite Christmas songs are unpacked to fill shopping malls, radio airwaves, and TV commercials. Over the last few years, it seems like every artist is trying their hand at writing some new Christmas songs and we've seen holiday songs and albums from the likes of Bob Dylan, Sting, Rob Halford, and Twisted Sister to name just a few. This year is no exception, with a new batch of artist releasing what they hope to be holiday classics.

Join The Teapot Party


11/30/10

Rock on The Range Rumors

2011 Lineup?

10 Reasons Lemmy is God and Jesus is a Loser

If your a Christian, than Jesus Christ is your Lord and savior. If your a sane person who happens to like hard rock and heavy metal, than Lemmy Kilmeister is your Lord and savior. Christians will talk all day long about how great Jesus is and why we all need to get on our knees and thank this crazy miracle spinner from Nazareth for saving our fucking souls from his fucking crazy evil dad. Well listen here dumb dumbs, I have ten solid reasons why my god, Lemmy Kilmeister, is better than your god, Jesus Christ. Let the blasphemy begin.

11/28/10

No Thanks...The Worst Concert Performance I've Seen

1. Lou Reed
Fuck Lou Reed. After seeing Ozzy I was sympathetic but disapointed. After David Allen Coe, I was confused and a bit disalusioned. But after seeing Lou Reed live, I was fucking pissed off. Before tearing into this, and yes I realize this blog is getting long as fuck (feel free to take a milk and cookie break), I'll give a little back information. Lou Reed on all accounts is considered by many to be a rock icon. He hasn't exactly sold a shit ton of albums, but music critics love him to death both as the lead singer of The Velvet Underground, as for being a solo artist. As a music lover and concert goer, I am very resetive to legends, even if I'm not that familiar with their actual body of work. When I saw that Lou Reed was slated to be at Lollapalooza in 2009, it was pretty much a done deal that I was going to go see him; his name was just to prolific to pass up. I knew a few Velvet Underground songs, their self-titled third album is fucking awesome, and decided my brother's copy of The Best of Lou Reed was a good enough study guide for the concert. I listened to the album five or six times of a month period, and really enjoyed it; further cementing my commitment to see Reed's performance at Lollapalooza. For anyone that's never been to Lollapalooza, it's a fucking amazing time, but unfortunatley bands overlapp so it's pretty impossible to see every good band there (unless you're a moron and run from stage to stage never seeing a full set). I went with my youngest brother that year (technically my cousin went too, but we wont talk about him), and we had our three days planned out to the T. The only thing we didnt agree on was Sunday night, so after watching Dan Auerbach's set we went our seperate ways. He traveled to the other side of the park to watch Snoop Dogg and get a great spot upfront for The Killers (completely ignoring Silversun Pickups), while I bedded with the goal of seeing Jane's Addiction. My plan was simple: I'd relax on the grass watching Lou Reed's set, mozzy on over to the very nearby Playstation Stage to see Band of Horses, and than leave around halway through their set to secure a good spot to rock out full force to Jane's Addiction. Sounds like a pretty musically wonderful evening right? Well I hadn't factored in Lou Reed being a piece of shit.

The Beatles in Minnesota

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If I had a time machine I would go to a fuck load of concerts, Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, Pantera, Nirvana, Queen, Led Zepplin, the list goes on and on. Getting to see music's mightest legends performing in their prime would be an incredible experience, or would it? What if it sucked, what if it were a complete waste of your time machine hopping time (dammit I could be pummeling Jesus right now)? Take the Beatles for instance (we'll talk about how The Doors sucked live another time), the biggest fucking band in the history of rock, you'd definately have to go see them right? Eh...proably not, excluding the rooftop concert in 1969, seeing The Beatles live was no great accomplishment, the overall majority of their concerts sucked dick. How dare I say somthing so blasphemous, dogg the most famous band in modern history, well listen up motherfuckers because it's absolutely true.

11/27/10

No Thanks....Even worse concert performance

Worse that Ozzy, this is the second performance on my list. From my magical concert year of 2008, it didn't help matters that the night before this shitty performance I saw NIN live at the Target Center; man, it was fucking amazing. Words can hardly describe the amazing spectacle.........Any way here's

11/25/10

No Thanks....Worse Concert Performances

I've been to near 200 concerts in my short concert life (if my concert self was a person he'd only be six years old), and in them I've witnessed some pretty bad performances and forgettable shows. I was planning on combing through my concert list and reliving the 10 worst performances I'd witnessed as a concert goer, but than I realized there are only really 3 performances that stick out in my mind. Why search for some long lost poor performances, especially when it was most likely by some opening band no one gives to shits about. So instead, I present the three worst concert performances I've had the sad misfortune to witness, all done by big name musicians (no nobodys here mate) over the next three days. Enjoy.

To Space with David Bowie and Major Tom

David Bowie is a fucking genius. Everything he does is golden, and man he does it all. He can sing, dance, stylize, produce, act, and hold audiences spellbound for decades. Today we're going to sample a small piece of that genius, and go to space with David Bowie and his legendary fictionally character Major Tom. While it's always tempting for an artist to re-visit a song or personal that initially launched their career, few have been able to pull it off. Usually it comes off as hokey, poorly planned, and taking away from the original. This can not be said of Bowie's Major Tom. He has visited the character on three different occasions, and each has been artistically and commercially sound. Let's take a closer look.

11/21/10

Goals 2011

I know it's a bit early, but the falling snow and winter storms have me dreaming of next year's concert season. Unfortunately 2010 was a bit of a bust year, where more concerts went missed than seen. U2 was postponed, Simon and Garfunkell cancelled, not to mention Willie Nelson postponed 6 months. No matter though, I saw some great acts over the year and in 2011 is gonna be even greater. So here is a short list of goals for the 2011 year (hopefully I can keep a few of them).

read more after the jump

11/20/10

A Look at Dio's Discography

So we looked at the album covers of Ozzy and Black Sabbath, it would seem that the next logical choice would be to look at the albums of the one and only Ronnie James Dio. We're  not going to hit every album from Dio's early career, but focus mainly on the Dio Band. Come On, ride that Tiger!!

So the first Rock group Ronnie was in was called Elf. Kind of ironic seeing as Ronnie really wasn't the tallest of Metal Gods. For their 1972 debut, they went with this album cover, a close up of a creepy elf looking dude. God dammit Santa's helpers looking fucking mean when you get up close and personal with them. I know Ronnie is dead and all, and I don't mean to be offensive, but is that Dio on the cover. It kinda looks like him just with rosey checks and pointed ears. Alright so this album is pretty bad ass and fucking metal as sin, good way to get things started.






Boooo, Elf's 1974 follow up sucks dick. You guys did so well on your debut, a scary looking fucking Elf dude and you follow it up with this mediocre shit. Fore shame. Dio is the guy in the yellow shirt standing on his tip toes to try and appear taller than the rest of the band. You can barely even see the name of the band on here, could just as easily been a fucking Monkees album.
Wow, while I think this album has a pretty cool title, the cover sucks dick. How the hell did they think that looked good? Dio that is not the proper way to burn the sun, actually now that I think about it for a minute the album title is fucking stupid. You cant burn the sun, its a fucking ball of fiery infernos. It's like saying I'm gonna freeze this ice cube, it's already frozen you fucking idiot. Elf was off to such a good start, they must of started using drugs (or maybe stopped).





1975 Elf is dead and long live Rainbow. Wait...he went from a band called Elf to Rainbow, and he's a heavy metal fucking legend, these sound like queer butt plug bands or children's Saturday morning cartoon shows. Yeah, looking at the cover of Rainbow's first album doesn't look very hard rock or heavy metal. It's too fucking colorful, and rainbows are not very metal. Reminds me of some fucking Rainbow Bright shit. The moon in the back does kinda look like the Perfect Circle logo though, that's kinda cool. I don't hate this album but come on man, you cant call your band fucking rainbow and than but out girlie looking shit like this.
Oh ya here we fucking go. On their second album, Rainbow decided we're not going to put out anymore fucking pussy looking little girl covers. No, this shit is hard rocking to the bones, we're gonna grab this fucking rainbow and fuck it's shit up. I dunno is this is the hand of god or some huge fucking giant, but the small looking medieval guy in the lower left hand corner must be loosing his mind. Walking up a climb by some ocean and suddenly a giant hand appears and fucking ownes a rainbow. Epic.
Sigh, on Rainbow's third album, released in 1978, the epicness went out the door. Instead of any rainbow related scenes, with castles and mountains, like we saw in the last two albums, we get a picture of a giant clump of hair that happens to contain the heads of the Rainbow band. It's a nice album title, and I can understand wanting to see your face on an album cover, but the boys really blew it here. Probably why Dio left the band.
In 1983, Dio left Black Sabbath and formed his own band, The Dio Band. Proving he was a bad ass motherfucker with or without Sabbath, take a gander at this album cover for Holy Diver. Pure Metal awesomeness. Meet Murray, the Dio band's mascot and a mean demon like creature willing to fuck up your shit. This is the exact scenario I would like to see go down for all those fucking Catholic Priest that molested little boys. That's right, Murray's coming to fucking kill you ass holes. I also think its bad ass that Murray has the demon horns pressed against his chest. Your best album so far Ronnie.
A year has passed and it looks like Murray has gone power hungry. It wasn't enough to just kill all the priest and pedophiles in the world, apparently Murray had to conquer the entire human race and put us into some sort of Mad Max like post Apocalypse state. Judging from the album title, The Last in Line, and the harsh look on Murray's face, I'd say hes fixing to pretty much murder us all. Nice album Dio, but did you have to doom all humanity?
Dammit Dio, where the fuck is Murray. I though we were gonna do some Iron Maiden shit and he would be on every cover. Now we get this hokey looking Medieval album cover, with a dragon in a crystal ball. It's just not anywhere as cool as the last two album covers. The dragon looks fucking stupid, and Dio you need to cut your fucking nails, you're not a witch for god's sake. Murray would kick that dragon's ass anyhow. Why can't we get three good album covers in a row, why? Looks like the dragon's doing a fucking Rubik's cube. Dumb dumb dumb.
This is a live album from 1986. I'm not gonna lie, the picture looks absolutely like shit. Who the fuck drew this, why not just put an actual pic from a concert instead of having some dude draw one. Apparently Dio has a large mechanic dragon he would attack during their live shows, which sounds awesome and makes me wish I could have seen Dio back in the day. They totally could have made this look better though, and I still miss Murray.
Hell yes Murray is back, and.....hmmm looks like he's about to terrorize some little girl sleeping with her thumb in her mouth. I was all down for you to terrorize priest, and I really didnt' mind you enslaving mankind, but what did this lil girl do. Oh wait, looks like she was reading some kind of book, probably of witchcraft, explains all the creepy shit crawling over and under her bed. Murray's probably just there to aid her fight this evil scourge, like he helped her brother fight the molesting priest, you the man Murray. Rock on.
Hey we're in the 1990s, and Dio has a simple message: Lock up the Wolves. Taking a gander at the two gracing your cover, I tend to agree. They look like blood thirsty assholes just waiting to tear into my flesh. Their owner additionally looks like the kind of character I prefer to avoid. Anyone who goes out wearing antlers and a cape that fucking big, is not someone I want to befriend. Pretty good cover Dio, its creepy, it's hard rock, it's metal.
After a short lived reunion with Sabbath, Dio was back on his own and released Strange Highways in 1994. Strange indeed. Instead of Murray, a dragon, or some scary wolves we get this new agey mind shit on our cover. It reminds me of something out of a Tool video, it that video sucked dick and lost all its cool graphics and visuals. Here we have a naked man in a spiralling pool, or maybe those are clouds, shits fuming out of his visible brain while skull monkeys sit on it. We also see green lightning, and some bullshit symbols and crap. I don't like this Dio, don't let it happen again.
Haha, holy shit now we're talking. We got some crazy ass killer robots blowing the shit out of people. The robots themselves do not look like the most intelligent designs, they're like bipedal battle bots, but hey I'm sure they kill just fine. I'm not sure why Dio would put killer robots on his album cover, but it's a hard concept to really argue against. The totally should make action figures out of these dudes.

In 2000, The Dio band released Magica. Umm, not really sure who this mother fucker on the cover is. Looks like some kind of Mongolian a couple hundred years old. No, this must be what the mobsters from The Mob Rules look like under their turbans. Real nasty looking fucks huh.
I'ts been quite a few years, but Dio has finally decide to kill that stupid dragon from his third album. Sad thing is, now the dragon actually looks pretty cool. Dam. Ronnie your last couple album covers have been all over the place, new age shit, killer robots, Mongolian, and now a fucking dragon, what's going on in that metal mind of yours? While I like this album, and am glad you've finally gotten an album artist that can fucking draw, I want to put in a request to see Murray again. Whats that fuck up to?
Well my Murray request has not been answered, but fuck take a look at his dude from Dios' 2004 album. Apparently he's the master of the moon, strongly explaining why NASA doesn't go there anymore. He looks very badass and metally, also could easily be a character from WOW. I like how his bracelet is creaming for help, omg, I wonder if that was the man on the moon. Shit, he got fucked up good. Sadly this is the last studio album released by the Dio band.

I'm gonna spare us going over the remaining live albums Dio has put out. Looking at his discography overall, Ronnie was way more constant and bad ass than either Sabbath or Ozzy. He made some fucking sweet and epic album covers.