I've been to near 200 concerts in my short concert life (if my concert self was a person he'd only be six years old), and in them I've witnessed some pretty bad performances and forgettable shows. I was planning on combing through my concert list and reliving the 10 worst performances I'd witnessed as a concert goer, but than I realized there are only really 3 performances that stick out in my mind. Why search for some long lost poor performances, especially when it was most likely by some opening band no one gives to shits about. So instead, I present the three worst concert performances I've had the sad misfortune to witness, all done by big name musicians (no nobodys here mate) over the next three days. Enjoy.
3. Ozzy
It's easy to throw bricks at Ozzy these days especially in a post-Osbournes and MTV(music wise) world. To many he's just a washed up old cook who mumbles listless nonsense and snuffles around onstage every summer. But to me Ozzy is a fucking legend, and while his newer music can't hold a candle to the classics, it's usually decent and catchy ("Scream" is a badass song). The incident in question occurred in 2007 on a happy sunny day in Mansfield, MA. I was in town visiting my long-distance-girlfriend, and had complained all week long about how I wanted to go to Ozzfest. It became my go to joke of the week, as she refused to spent a sweaty summer day with me worshipping Lamb of God even though it was Sharon Osbourne's fucking stupid Freefest (actually cost us $20 a piece to go). The morning of the concert I laid my complaints on even thicker, as we picked up her best friend for a day of skirt shopping at the mall. Apparently I was a dumbass for think we were going skirt shopping as they secretly drove us to Ozzfest, especially sine my girlfriend never wears skirts; all the more reason to buy some I reasoned. Plus, what strait man argues taking two hotties out on the town for some skirts. We all know skirts are wondrous garms of fabric. Anyway they revealed our true destination and I am fucking stoaked. Ozzy, Static X, Lamb of God, here I come. After a fun day of metal and the aways fun Ozzfest community, it was time for the fucking legend to hit the stage. The lights went down, and a hilarious compilation video of Ozzy cut into a bunch most popular TV shows and movies (the Office,
300) plays. After some hearty laughs, the band hits the stage and Ozzy is finally emerges. Ozzy walks to the center mic and tells the crowd, "My Doctor says I have a throat infection and shouldn't perform. I told him to fuck off, I got people waiting for me." Myself, and the entire audience roar in approval, flashing our devil horns and shouting "Ozzy, Ozzy" before Zak Wylde launches us into the first song. Sadly Ozzy's doctor was right, and from the very first song it was clear that Ozzy was indeed having major vocal problems. He sounded god awful. His voice hoarsely cracked the lyrics and at times completely died mid verse. It was sad to see Ozzy like this, and for his part he jumped and smile and tried to entertain the crowd like nothing was wrong. His sound engineers came to the rescue by song three, and began mixing recorded choruses into the songs; it was blatantly obvious. Hearing a butchered mess of Ozzy classics was no fun time, and Zakk's 10 minute guitar solo did little to ease the pain. In the end, Ozzy cut his set list short and exited without even playing his #1 rock radio song at the time "I Don't Wanna Stop"; we were glad when it finally did, though it left a black shadow on the whole day's Ozzfest. Even sadder, this was the last Ozzfest I attended because the next year was only in Texas, and than cancelled, and than only in six cities. Fuck!
Would I go again? Ya, in fact I'm considering seeing him in December. I dont really blame Ozzy, put yourself in his shoes. You have a booked concert and suddenly there's something wrong with your voice, what do you do? Suck it up, or cancel the show? You can't really cancel a fesitval concert date so, we went out there and did his best; unfortunately it sucked. I actually saw him the year before at Ozzfest in Wisconsin and he was fucking amazing so I'm very willing to forgive. Ozzy, bring Ozzfest back to Minnesota!!!
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