Minnesota Concert Massacre

Do you live in Minnesota? Do you go to concerts in the Twin Cities? If so, you need to know who to see and who to ditch. Welcome to the Weekly Concert Massacre, pick up you guitars, arm your drummers, strap a bomb on a bass player cause shit is about to get real real motherfucker. Open the fucking flood gates.

Monday
Watain @ Station 4 w/Goatwhore, Black Anvil, Nailed Shut, Under Eden, Australis, and Kidnapped by C Section.
16+, $15.


This is your winner, with no real competition. But can you blame them, this lineup is spewing with metal intensity and raw music evil. Originally suppose to be a Behemoth show, Watain has salvaged the tour and are ready to kick your fucking ass. If your balls have dropped, and your ready to go to work/school Tuesday morning with a fat lip and a black eye, rock the fuck out to Watain.



Tuesday
Danzig @ Cabooze w/Possessed, Marduk, Toxic Holocaust, and Withered.
18+, $25

VS.
Nile @ Station 4 w/Ex Deo, Psycryptic, Keep of Kalessin
16+, $20

VS.
Two Hours Traffic @ 400 Bar
18+, $5


Winner: Danzig. Glenn is a musican worthy of your time, and Danzig have been hammering away at a solid metal career for decaades now. Besides, when else are you going to get a chance to hear "Mother" live. If you want a rougher metal experience (plus maybe you've seen Danzig) go see Nile, but fair warning, as good as Nile undoubtably is, there sound will only bore and/or irratate hears no use to fast complex building guitar riffs brazed over with hard groan and moan vocals. If none of this sounds appealing, by all means save some money and go see Two Hour Traffic. The Canadians seem like a sunny indie band (they really make me want to reference Vampire Weekend), and though I have heard very very little from them, I'm not hating it.


Wednesday
Hey Monday @ Station 4 w/Cartel, the Ready Set, This Century
All Ages, $15

VS.
Jeff Daniels @ Cedar Cultural Center
All Ages, $25


Winner: Hey Monday Wednesday is kind of slim pickins, if you decide to stay home and save your money for the weekend I totally understand. So I picked Happy Monday as the winner because....well because I didnt hate them and I really though I would. They're a young female lead band (video makes me feel old at 24) who are pretty decent, and to young kids proabbly pretty thrilling. Lol, Cartel opening for them didnt help, they suck. Does anyone remember their TV show on MTV where they tried to record an album in a month while living in an igloo being filmed the whole time; stupid shit. As for Jeff Daniels...honesty, the motherfucker scared me. I thought I would get some alright folk music from this guy but...man Jeff you're a bit intense and kid of wierd.


Thursday
Allstar Weekend @ Varsity Theatre w/The Scene Aesthetic, Stephen Jerzak, Action Item
All Ages, $22

VS.
Dawes @ First Avenue w/Peter Wolf Crier and Moondoggies
18+, $17

VS.
Rebelution @ Fine Line Cafe
18+, $22

VS.
Tapes N'Tapes @ Turf Club
$10


Winner: Dawes Heading towards the end of the week and the music is getting good. Dawes is making noice across publications this tour, good work Star Tribune, and has to be my pick for the week. They make good music and are getting themselves noticed. If you want a little more laid back reggae vibes, than Rebelution will proably give you a good time. Minnesota indie darlings, Tapes N' Tapes are also in town, but eh...not really making any noise lately. Allstar Weekend suck dick, sadly rising from the popularity of Bieber and the JoJo Bros. The horror.


Friday
B.B. King @ State Theatre
All Ages, $65-75

VS.
Filter @ Station 4 w/Middle Class Rut
18+, $21

VS.
Lotus @ First Avenue w/Mux Mool, sMILOdon, Toffler
18+, $21

VS.
The Heavy @ Fine Line Cafe
18+, $55

Retribution Gospel Choir @ United Methodist Church w/Zoo Animal


Winner: Retribution Gospel Choir RGC gets the win here because they are awesome and their show is at a church. I couldnt find out how much it cost but I doubt it's much. This is the toughest day to make a pick, lot of good bands playing out there. Part of me wants to give love to the Legend that is B.B. King, but if you've read any reviews of his shows in the last few years than you know B.B. is more of a story teller now and less of a blues rocker. For $65, unless you really want to see the King and dont mind him playing few songs, than save that cash buy a B.B. CD and go to a different show. Filter is a good band who since reuniting havent really made the splash they wanted, their show is not too overpriced but their set can get a bit boring. The Heavy (you've heard them in commercials) are a kick ass British band who would have won this day had their show not been so fucking expensive. Why are shows at the Fine Line so much? As for Lotus, if you want hippie jam band good times, go for it dogg.


Saturday
NEEDTOBREATHE @ First Avenue w/The Daylights
18+, $26

VS.
TobyMac & Skillet @ Target Center
All Ages, $20-55


Winner: Needtobreathe Unless your a hipster Christian fagget, than you know TobyMac sucks dick and Skillet is a shitty Three Days Grace ripp off. Your fake ass Jesus can't save you on this website. As for Needtobreathe, those southern boys rock. Saw them at Taste of Minnesota this past summer and they were awesome. Got a Kings of Leon feel to their music.