No Thanks....Even worse concert performance

Worse that Ozzy, this is the second performance on my list. From my magical concert year of 2008, it didn't help matters that the night before this shitty performance I saw NIN live at the Target Center; man, it was fucking amazing. Words can hardly describe the amazing spectacle.........Any way here's

2. David Allen Coe
David Allen Coe is the only concert I ever attended with my late father, and surprisingly he invited me to the concert and not vis versa (he even paid for my ticket), so this concert should hold a special place in my heart, but it doesn't. Coe was a huge disappointment to all in attendance. From the moment he hit the stage, it became painfully clear that we hadn't paid to see David Allen Coe play his hits, we had simply paid to see David Allen Coe, and Coe himself stated this (WTF). Accompanied by a hot three piece band lead by his youngest son, Coe opted to talk rather than sing or play his guitar. It was sort of like VH1's storyteller's if the concept was reversed, playing snippets of songs in between long monologues. It was as if Coe didn't think anyone in attendance was an actual fan of his. He spent the grand majority of the concert listing off his resume' of accomplishments (songwriting credits, movies, laws he broke) and name checking everyone from Johnny Cash to Kid Rock. This might have been tolerable had the man actually played the songs people came to hear, but he didn't; and he seemed to do so with purposeful disdain for the audience. "Some people come to my concerts and complain that I don't play "You Never Call Me By My Name", well I didn't write that song. Steve Goodman did." Coe seemingly addressing the current audience's confusion at not hearing any of his most memorable songs (save for the one chorus run through of "Jack Daniels If You Please"), and offering a bullshit explanation. Hey David, most of my favorite David Allen Coes songs you did penn so why did you play songs by The Allman Brothers, Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson and Uncle Kracker instead? You didnt write those fucking songs! To be fair Coe did sing a few songs I assume he wrote (I've never fucking any of them heard before), including a fun little ditty about how everyone, black, white, Asian, green, should live together in harmony. The song appropriately came after he discussed his infamous X-rated albums, and racist confederate anthems of the past (see folks I'm not a bad guy anymore). You know it's a real shame this concert was better. The concert took place in the middle of the week in New Ulm Minnesota, a know-your neighbor working class community, raised on outlaw country legends like Coe, Waylon, and Willie. George's ballroom, a large hall for weddings and dances, was well packed with good old boys, farm hands, day laborers, and your average 9-5 blue collar America. They drank beers, laughed, mouthed off, and looked forward to Coe pumping out hits like "Take this Job and Shove It" "The Ride" "Longhaired Redneck" and other hard knuckled outlaw classics. For their efforts and appreciation of a performer the music business wrote off years ago, they got lectures, stories (some pretty interesting), song snippets, numerous covers,  and none of the songs they actually wanted to hear. At first the crow was rowdy and blarring to go, hooting and hollering at Coe through the first ten minutes, but he ultimately crushed their spirits leaving the mid-westerners muttering to their friends, and simply starring at Coe dumbfounded for the majority of the show. If you're one to judge a book, or perhaps a concert, by it's ending, this one was all to appropriate. At the end of some random song, Coe's band enthusiastically started another and David slowly took off his guitar and shuffled offstage. He said nothing, offered no wave or signal to the on looking audience that he was through, and was just gone. The crowd stood wide-eyed, like a deer in the headlights, wondering what the hell was happening in an all ready bizarre performance. The three piece band played for another minute or two, and a good majority of the crowd began shouting "David Allen Coe" when the band finally finished trying to usher an encore from the old Texas legend. Sadly when the band immediately began packing up their gear upon rocking out a final note, it was pretty clear the concert that come to an abrupt end. Confused the crowd turned from the stage and headed to the back bar, no excitement or enthusiasm left alive in the venue. I talked to 10-15 different individuals following the shows incredibly lackluster run, and it was all complaints. My father seemed to sum the night up best as I joined him in a back booth, "What the fuck was that?"

There's what I don't understand, David Allen Coe fucking tours constantly across the country basically playing any venue, in any state, in any town that will pay to have him (he comes through the midwest quite often). While I understand doing that many shows would make anyone sick of playing the same songs night in and night out, but if you fucking played a worthy set of songs people actually wanted to hear, maybe you could make a better name for yourself as a touring act and you could play larger venues and less often. You'd make more money and your fans would be happy, it's win win man and you can even play a shit load of covers and songs nobody knows, as long as you give them a solid run of hits. Think David, there must be a brain somewhere under that horrible blond wig you wear.
Would I go again? Ya.....I've read a ton of concert reviews from David Allen Coe, and the man is very sporadic; though the reviews are usually written by people who really like Coe so maybe there is a bias there. I definitely wouldn't pay more than $15, or go if anything else note worthy were going on in town. In concert he plays whatever the fuck he feels like, which crazily means he plays very little from his own canon of songs. He played Duluth a couple weeks back and the paper gave it a decent review (I missed it because I though Coe would start on time, boy am I stupid), with the only really noteworthy moment being Waylon Jennings' widow Jessi Colter joining him for a single duet. If I make it to Willie's 4th of Jully Picnic, I'll give David another chance.