This story is a little old now, but seeing as that it didn't get a whole lot of media attention and is fucking hilarious I thought I'd rap about it. Weeks ago, a crazy bitch named Valerie Joyce Wilson Turks filled a lawsuit against Diddy (aka Sean Combs, P. Diddy, Puff Daddy, Puffy, etc.) for the reasonable amout of one trillion dollars ($1,000,000,000,000). She alleges the following:
- She once dated Diddy and has a 23 year old son with him, Cornelius D. Wilson. Really, you named your son Cornelius.
- Valerie is seeking $900 billion in child support and $10 billion for lost income. Sounds like Cornelius is one expensive kid, what fucking job did she have where she lost $10 billion by not working?
- Than she started getting really crazy saying “[Combs] date raped me 24 years ago and knocked me down and Kim Porter and Wallace Wright. Then Sean Combs and Kim and Wallace Wright came back 18 years later and raped and sexually abused my children and knocked my children down and crushed me and my children daily.” Wallace Wright is a Wide Reciever for the Carolina Panthers and Kim Porter is Comb's ex-girlfriend and baby mama to three of comb's children. I keep reading this statement over thinking it will make sense, but it never does.
- Sadly Diddy's evil on Valerie didn't stop there as she explained, “[Combs] went through Kim Porter and Rodney King and knocked down the WTC and they all came and knocked me and my children down,” Turks wrote, “he set me up to be on disability and disabled my baby. He put my baby in a wheelchair.” Ummm..how exactly did Rodney King, the African American famously beaten by Las Angelos Police Officers in 1991, knock down the World Trade Towers? I've heard some funny 9/11 truch stories before, but this takes the cake. Also, what does she mean when she constantly says "knocked me down", is Diddy just showing up to places and pushing people? Is Cornelius in a wheel chair?
- Beside accusing him of rape, child abuse, child neglect, domestic assault, treason, mass murder, and terrorism, Valerie also named Diddy as a theif stating, “Plus I won a lot of money at the casino in Mississippi and Sean John P. Diddy Combs has my chip to my money. I heard he gave it to Gwen Allen to hold, but she can not cash it in. I want my chip. Please help me. It’s well worth over 100 zillions of dollars, and my hospital keys.” Let me get this straight, you won 100 zillion dollars at the casino (I hope your just exaggerating the figure, because 'zillion' is not a real numeric value), they gave you a single chip for you winnings (odd), and you didn't cash in right away. Was Diddy at the Casino with you? Was this the day of the second rapping? Maybe I'm just reading to much 'crazy' into your statement, but are you saying that Diddy also stole your hospital keys (you should get those back hun, you clearly belong there) or are you saying the casino chip also acts as your hospital key?
- Finally Valerie ended her lawsuit statement requesting that the court enforce a stay-away order stipulating that Combs stay 100 yards away from her, her children, her home, job, her children’s school or child care and vehicle. The court denied this request, most likely holding back tears of laughter.
No comments:
Post a Comment