Music Wishes for the New Year

#10. Drake returns to wheelchair

Drake is a shitty rapper, yep, so here's hoping Drake will return to his roots in 2011 and go back to being a wheelchair bound character in the teenage soap opera Degrassi. What, you saying you didn't know Drake was in a long running Canadian TV show? Oh ya, he doesn't really advertise or talk about his dark past. Don't worry though, I'll tell you all his horrible secrects.

-High School drop out

-Jewish

-Real name Aubrey

-Black

Wow, he really has an Oprah friendly story of success on his hands, how an African Canadian Jew rose from the being a handicap on Canadian television, to getting his swag on in the US with Jay-Z and Eminem. Sadly Aubrey, the massive success you gained in 2010 won't last and you'll end up right back were you started; in a wheelchair entertaining Canadian teenagers. What level of hell is that again?

Evil Twist of Fate option: Drake is trajeically shot in the spine, giving him all kinds of rapper street cred, and prompting him to tour and spit rhymes in a wheelchair.