Who doesn't love Judas Priest, they fucking rock and they always fucking will. As they prepare for their farewell tour, band's not breaking up just giving up doing big world tours, we though it would be a good idea to look over their discography and criticize and praise their album art. Let's go!
Album 1, 1974, hmmm......not sure what to make of this one. Certainly an interesting approach for an album cover, not really sure what message they were trying to get across. Maybe by the title "Rocka Rolla" I'm suppose to infer that it rocks in the smooth bubbly way an ice cold bottle of Coca Cola would if it were a rock band. Did they think they're target demographic for this album was cola junkies? Really what the fuck? Think about it, it's 1974 you're at the record store, you like hard rock/metal and you see this album. Are you interested in buying it, probably not. The band's name might entice you, Judas, the dude who fucking turned on Jesus Christ, + Priest, an ordained member of the Christian religion. Really should have put some dark Christian themed images on the cover.....you're starting off in the red Halford. When re-issue time rolled around in 1987, the band also thought their debut album cover sucked and did not accurately showcase their heavy metal gravitas (not to mention it is rumored Coca Cola threatened to sue them) so they used the album pictured on the right.....It's fucking weird and I don't begin to understand it, but it does get across the point that his is a heavy metal album. Looks like some old school Nintendo boss, better call Mega-Man or somebody to go kick his ass.
Alright, we got a party going here with album two. This is the exact kinda cover art I want to see on a Judas Priest album. Looks like some angel has found himself in hell, and is about to be consumed in Satan's fire. We don't know how he ended up in this predicament, but perhaps his sad wings fulfilled this destiny. He looks pretty unhappy about this currently state and the Judas Priest necklace around his neck is a nice touch. Maybe God kicked him out of heaven because he was a Priest fan, that's pretty fucking metal. Actually the more I look at this cover the more I realize that he's not in anguish at all. Rather he's waking up and doing the classic morning arm stretch. Yep, this is an angel that lives in hell waking up from a long night of partying, maybe a headbanging concert, and is ready to raise some hell once more.
Holy shit I think we're inside the temple now. My god look what some evil fuck did to this poor poor hooker. She's been fucking encased in metal, and if that horrifying process didn't kill her the two fucking two rods penetrating her skull no doubt finished her off. They probably have statues like this all over the place in that bordello, with weird neon lighting. Not sure if this gets me in the mood for fucking, sinning ya, but I dunno about fucking. Maybe I'm just not rough enough in the sack. Two questions remain on this picture though. 1) Was the whore bald before or after they got a hold of here (platinum hair might of looked sexy)?. 2) Is the black residue seemingly running down the front of her skull and over her right eye blood, or is it some kind of shadow effect? Either way I doubt I'd linger too long at this piece of work.
Ok, so we've made it past the creepy statues and now we run into this dude....hmmm can I take back calling the statue creepy? Naw, I'll use odd, or insane, or demented, or fucking creepy, they all seem to fit this fellow. His skin is so fucking ghost white Michael Jackson would be jealous. Look into his eyes and all I can see are images of shit being blown up with some kind of red fucking lazer beam. Almost, just barely there, the beginning twinges of a smile as he's no doubt amused by the awful images he's somehow rigged his over sized goggles to project onto his eyes. Nice helmet, I'm not having a hard time believing for a second that you are indeed a killing machine. Three solid records in a row boys, keep it going. 
It just keeps getting better. As you stare into the murderous goggles of the killing machine, watching your family and friends being vaporized before your eyes, suddenly the pale son of a bitch raises up his right hand. In it, like some kind of fucking calling card, is a fucking razor blade donned with the Band name he kills for. Look at the size of that fucker, this isn't no fucking razor blade to run across your chubby check, no, his is British Steel, big enough, strong enough, and sharp enough to dice you into tiny little pieces. Oh we should be scared no, and we're undoubtedly sweating bullets, but you can't turn and run from this, no you better stand their and take it full on, because if you make any quick movements to perhaps run out the door to the golden lady outside, you certainly won't make it as one whole piece.
...........um............Point of Entry is the album's name and I see a point on the cover.......entering where....is this the fin of a car....this album cover sucks. Period.
Look
Look up in the sky eclipsing the sun, it's a bird, its' a plane, no it's a screaming fucking metal bird with sharp fucking teeth. Oh god. I have no idea why this thing was conceptualized, but god dammit it's fucking metal to the core. Maybe that fin on the last cover was the tail of this fucking metallic bird thing. Looks like it has missiles on its shoulders, and some kind of red sperm snake slithering up it's interior? Or maybe that's it's exterior? Maybe the fucking thing is screaming and taking a nose dive into the ground below because this fucking virus, or germie, or spermie is making it's way up his body. I'd fucking scream for vengeance too, if some motherfucker used my point of entry to inject some red wiggly sperm into my fucking body. Fuck that shit. I hope you found the help you needed metal fowl, or thing that fucking ground like a freight train and burst into a million god dam pieces. 
This album is called Defenders of the Faith. The name conjures images of Christianity, religious doctrine, weaponry, used to defend the faith that one/the masses hold dear. Apparently though Judas Priest must be thinking of something else entirely. Instead of any flaming swords, or angels, and so one we get this tank thing. Defending the faith of Judas Priest is a fucking Japanese Tiger Tank, with mounted arsenals, big claws, sharp teeth, and a bad bucking attitude. I don't know what weird kind of Power Rangers like army Priest is running there, but while the steel bird is I guess air support, this beast is taking care of the ground attacks. I guess it's still pretty bad ass, but it's getting weird man, they might want to reign it in a little.
Stylistically this fits with the last two albums, but I still don't really like it. Ok, is this the hand of whoever is controlling those animal machines we were introduced to earlier? Who cares, and why the fuck do they have long red painted nails with yellow trim? This is exactly what I was talking about, conceptually they've gone to far with this idea an it needs to stop, not turbo ahead. Turn around and think about the kind of music you make, the kind of genre you're in, and what your fans expect from you. Have it on my desk by Thursday.
......So it looks like God too is really pissed with Judas Priest's last album cover and dammit he's not gonna take this shit sitting down. No, god is pissed and he's gonna make sure the world knows it by very blatantly ramming it down their throat. Who knows how many millions were lost in this epic display of power and vengeance, but God got his fucking point across crystal clear; fucking think be for you commit something to your fucking album cover. Your Judas Priest of fuck's sake. God knows his Priest and he expects only the best from the Metal God, from here on out they better fucking deliver.
I'm not really sure they understood God's message. This is a very flashy album with a lot of shit going down. Their best albums so far have been accomplished with keeping things simple but we're in the 90s now, so apparently fuck that.. So what I can gather from this picture is the angel we met on album 2 has visited the bordello and had himself encased in metal, just like that poor hooker, and seems pretty pumped about it. He's flying out of hell, which appears to be the new domain of Judas Priest with their logo growing out of the furious flames, on one of those god dame animal machines. This one appears to be some kind of razor hog bike, looking a lot more fleshy than the previous models.
Meet the Jugulator, the scary new metal creature in Judas Priest's ranks. I really hope his named is derived from the fact that he hunts down and kills Juggalos, but that might just be too much wishful thinking. I like to think that his in your face teethy fuck, is the chrome angel. After rocking on his hog bike for a few years, he stupidly got jealous and decide he too wanted to be some kind of metallic monster serving Judas Priest. Tisk tisk, looks like they even chopped of his beautiful wings. I don't really care for this album, too cheap 90s comic book looking for me; some shitty villain for the X-men to squash.
Hmm, maybe Judas Priest took my complaint of over conceptualization too much to heart, because here we have....blood. Yes just blood and the album's name. Eh, nothing to really hate but certainly nothing to love either. This would have been a good album name to put the fucking Japanese Tiger Tank on. Maybe this is the trail of blood it leaks behind it?
Yesssss, this is what I'm fucking talking about. Looks like the Jugulator decided to stop sucking and return to his sacrilegious roots. Album cover is just bad ass all the way around. He's rising from the ashes reclaiming Judas Priest's awesome cover legacy from certain doom. Fly on strong metallic angel from Hell, and destroy any who stand in your path. See the halo around his head, that means he's holy.
The good albums continue. See that boys, you get a concept and you give it the appropriate detail and thought, and guess what it doesn't end up looking like fucking shit. Album looks dark and menacing, while conveying the fact that this is an album about Nostradamus, that crazy old fuck. Until they're next album, this is where we leave the Priest, and on a cover stance, it's a high note to be left on.
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